maybe in my 2018 and till the end of 2019 im ever in those states exactly the way same as your letter written there. i pushed off every peoples surrounding. depression hit too hard at that time. and one way of my cope mechanism for deal with it is by bein alone. reflecting on my self. thats why i leave everyone. its hurt so much. to realize that ive losing them. truly. but what can i do. life so exhausting. and in the way for stay alive stay grounded and survive is by finding my ownself first. thats what i did back then. with the price that ive loosing all peoples around. thanks you for this letter. thank you. i appreciate it
Hoo boi, do I take the time to write a comment, huh.
> I don't know how to be a friend. I don't think I have it in me to be anyone's friend.
Italicized OOF because I felt it. Holy smokes, that hit right it the heart.
You’re not a monster.
You probably don’t not even remember me, which is understandable, but it was one of those people who were talking to you but weren’t close to you in Twi. And for what I’ve seen and felt - you are not a monster, you’re a human.
So anyway. I feel for you, wish you best of luck and want you to have more appreciation towards yourself. ‘Cause I definitely see this an absolutely beautiful soul of yours and it’s warm.
Hel of COURSE I remember you, I just never reached out to anyone from my old accounts because I was so ashamed of the fact that I could barely keep in touch with anyone.. if you'd like to uh.. keep in touch with me on twitter you can find me on SIM4JOON yea? Only if you want.. thank you for understanding me and for being here 😭
okay, reading this after doing exactly the same thing (that is, being a horrible friend to a person who trusted me and who put so much efforts in our relationship when i didn't even try to fix my mistakes... yes i do feel bad for it but in a way, i have such a low self esteem that i can't help but think that it was bound to happen at some point because i can't nurture a healthy link with anyone) hurts. but i thank you for putting my feelings into words. can someone teach me how to grieve a lost friendship because all i am able to feel is a vague absence in my heart, like a worm eating an apple. i think i may be corrupted to the bone now, but at least we are two.
thank you for sharing this -- i felt like i finally found someone who understood after desperately scrolling through substack to find something to ache this pain i’ve been feeling of meeting potential friends or having friends that i cannot maintain at all. it’s sunday and i have a lot of piled up messages from friends i never had the courage to reply to: partly because i was so depressed the past weeks that i do not have the emotional strength to reply and i also just feel so ashamed that my replies are always a day or a week late.
i’ve also felt like i want to kneel to every single friend i have to apologize for me not knowing how to be a good friend. but also, i guess what i learned through the grief of losing people is that some people can be built to be by our side, some people are not, and the fact that we grieve not being able to be there for them as much as we want to, tells us that we still have a heart. but our cup is just too empty to be able to pour enough for other people.
thank you so much! and (my inbox is open if u want to be friends)
maybe in my 2018 and till the end of 2019 im ever in those states exactly the way same as your letter written there. i pushed off every peoples surrounding. depression hit too hard at that time. and one way of my cope mechanism for deal with it is by bein alone. reflecting on my self. thats why i leave everyone. its hurt so much. to realize that ive losing them. truly. but what can i do. life so exhausting. and in the way for stay alive stay grounded and survive is by finding my ownself first. thats what i did back then. with the price that ive loosing all peoples around. thanks you for this letter. thank you. i appreciate it
Hoo boi, do I take the time to write a comment, huh.
> I don't know how to be a friend. I don't think I have it in me to be anyone's friend.
Italicized OOF because I felt it. Holy smokes, that hit right it the heart.
You’re not a monster.
You probably don’t not even remember me, which is understandable, but it was one of those people who were talking to you but weren’t close to you in Twi. And for what I’ve seen and felt - you are not a monster, you’re a human.
So anyway. I feel for you, wish you best of luck and want you to have more appreciation towards yourself. ‘Cause I definitely see this an absolutely beautiful soul of yours and it’s warm.
Hel of COURSE I remember you, I just never reached out to anyone from my old accounts because I was so ashamed of the fact that I could barely keep in touch with anyone.. if you'd like to uh.. keep in touch with me on twitter you can find me on SIM4JOON yea? Only if you want.. thank you for understanding me and for being here 😭
goodbyes make you think. they make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost, and what you’ve taken for granted
okay, reading this after doing exactly the same thing (that is, being a horrible friend to a person who trusted me and who put so much efforts in our relationship when i didn't even try to fix my mistakes... yes i do feel bad for it but in a way, i have such a low self esteem that i can't help but think that it was bound to happen at some point because i can't nurture a healthy link with anyone) hurts. but i thank you for putting my feelings into words. can someone teach me how to grieve a lost friendship because all i am able to feel is a vague absence in my heart, like a worm eating an apple. i think i may be corrupted to the bone now, but at least we are two.
thank you for sharing this -- i felt like i finally found someone who understood after desperately scrolling through substack to find something to ache this pain i’ve been feeling of meeting potential friends or having friends that i cannot maintain at all. it’s sunday and i have a lot of piled up messages from friends i never had the courage to reply to: partly because i was so depressed the past weeks that i do not have the emotional strength to reply and i also just feel so ashamed that my replies are always a day or a week late.
i’ve also felt like i want to kneel to every single friend i have to apologize for me not knowing how to be a good friend. but also, i guess what i learned through the grief of losing people is that some people can be built to be by our side, some people are not, and the fact that we grieve not being able to be there for them as much as we want to, tells us that we still have a heart. but our cup is just too empty to be able to pour enough for other people.
thank you so much! and (my inbox is open if u want to be friends)